


Try My Patience

by DarkSkyOmen



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-06-11 22:37:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15325920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarkSkyOmen/pseuds/DarkSkyOmen
Summary: One shot. Sasuke & Itachi are more alike then they think. When their overbearing ways go a bit to far. Their comrades put them in their place. Maybe a bit to much in their place.. The joke completely backfires and leaves them all gaping in horror. Implied incest, Yaoi, AUish, FUNNY!





	Try My Patience

**Disclaimer! I do not own Naruto** or ANY of the characters, well except for Irony. She's a OFC after all. The rating is for the story content and bad language. Implied yaoi, no like, no read. Also implied incest, so you have been warned. AU. And OOCness. Why write this? Because I kind of hate Sasuke sometimes dammit. That and I was bored and it struck me as funny. 'Shrugs.' This story is the byproduct of way to much caffeine and insane musical tastes and a very warped mind at sick work.

"Blah blah blah..." Basic Speech

'* _Blah blah blah..._ ' Inner Thoughts

 

** \- Try My Patience - **

It was about three in the morning on a clear, warm, moonlit night. It wasn't a overly hard mission that their team was returning from, but they still required turns for sentry duty while resting that night. Just to be safe. The warm midsummer wind whispered across the tree tops rustling the dark emerald green leaves. The breeze caught some of the ninja that was on guard duty's glowing stands of pale golden hair. Suddenly the lone figure felt one of his team mates chakra signatures directly beneath and then appear beside of him. Said team mates hands were suddenly running up and down his sides in a suggestive way that was more then a bit to friendly. Strong, pale hands, were insistent in trying to pull him back onto their lap. Naruto Uzamaki felt his stomach churn as his face took on a green tinge before he finally lost it and started hissing in rage. "Either you stop touching me or I'm punching your face into meat paste you filthy perverted bastard!"

Sasuke Uchiha merely grinned and leaned closer to the irate blond in front of him. Dragging his hands up the smaller blonds hips then back down again. Naruto growled before viciously smacking at the offending limbs and looking back out over their camp gritting his teeth while trying to ignore and move away from the Uchiha. Both young men ended up sitting motionlessly on the wide tree branch in silence once the blond managed to wiggle out of the brunettes arms reach. Both became absorbed in their own inner musings.

Sasuke sighed in amusement. ' _Oh dobe, I'm not going to be ignored. I don't care what anyone thinks anymore. Not even you. I get and take what I want. And I want you to submit and admit that you want me. Now lets see how far I can push you before my shift starts hmm?_ '

Naruto could feel his eye twitching in time with his heart beat. ' _I don't know what his freaking problem is, but ever since he came back to the village he's been annoying me. Him acting like this towards me is even making Sakura and Ino be even meaner to me then they usually are! I hate it, he makes my skin crawl. Not to mention I'm beginning to know how all of those poor women the old pervert targeted felt.. I just don't get him at all.._ '

Sasuke smirked before leaning towards the paranoid blond again. This time he reached over dragging his long graceful pale fingers through the shaggy tangled gold mane. The other man merely stiffened before giving an exasperated sigh and scowling up at the moon slump shouldered. Sasuke kept dragging his fingers through the other mans hair after moving so that he sat hip to hip, flush against him.

Sasuke ' _God it's as soft and silky as it looks._ '

Naruto "You know something you bastard?"

Sasuke "Hnnn?"

Naruto "You're really, REALLY, freaking annoying!"

**\- A few miles away -**

Three figures moved silently across the moonlit tree tops before coming to a stop to make camp. The largest, a cloaked man walked off with a smirk into the brush leaving his silent companions alone. The other man merely grinned manically and walked over and sat down beside the young woman who was bent over digging in her pack. He reached out and let one of his wayward hands trail down her lower back between the folded wings and stop. Then dragged it back up slowly pressing into her smooth silky flesh taking her shirt up with it. The answer his actions received was a loud snarl and instantly staring up into angry gray slitted eyes. She flared out her wings while baring her teeth at him. Her card shaped ears were laid back, her tapered tail lashed furiously behind her ankles. He smirked in her enraged face and then tried to pull her down onto his lap.

The demoness snarled and hissed. "Just because he said that you could use me to find your tailed demon hosts didn't mean that you could use, USE me! I don't like this filthy mortal world. And I don't like YOU! Much less being summoned against my will, chained like a paltry dog sent along like a mangy bloodhound. Heed my words you foolish mortal. One more time, and I'm ripping off whatever body part you touch me with. Then I'm shoving it up your pompous corpses ass and mailing your bits to your little brother along with one of your precious eyeballs!"

Itachi's eyes reflected his open amusement as he watched the enraged demoness stomp away to the near by stream and then quickly make a camp fire. His long time partner returned carrying a few rabbits. He looked at them both before he sat down with a frown beside the fire.

Kisame shook his head rubbing his eyes tiredly. "You really shouldn't push her. I know you're crazy and all.. But she's a half demon, not a container. She could rip us both to shreds without even having to try.."

Itachi huffed. "You worry to much Kisame. She can't do anything like that right now."

Kisame gripped his sword hilt and shook his head. "You don't worry enough."

Itachi tilted his head in bemusement. "I wonder.. Do demons even have names?"

The woman snarled. "I do have a name you perverted bastard. Just not one that I'd share with the likes of you."

Kisame ran his fingers through his hair, gripping and tugging at it in dismay. It'd been like this all week long. Hell from the very first second that his dark haired, red eyed partner had first laid eyes on her truthfully. She had popped up in the center of their summoning ring and looked around in confusion. After realizing that it wasn't a strange dream, her confusion then quickly became pure rage. The only reason she hadn't torn them all to shreds yet was the silver seal collar clamped around her neck. And the matching chakra draining chain bands wrapped around her wrists and ankles. Itachi had taken to openly harassing the demoness. He did it just to see how far he could get before she snapped and resorted to violence. Kisame just couldn't understand his companions mentality where it concerned the boss' demon slave. Sure even he'd admit that she was kinda pretty, if you ignored the creepy eyes, wings, fangs, claws, fuzzy ears, and the tail. He himself, got hung up at the tail. But it was like the Uchiha couldn't stand having some one, even if they weren't human. Not openly cower in fear or awe of him. Or not be impressed and fawn over him and beg for his attention.

Kisame grunted to himself in annoyance. ' _You'd think it's the challenge that turns him on.. Then again it probably is._ '

A loud resounding smack echoed around the camp clearing, it was followed by a zapping noise then a yelp of pain. His partner went sailing over his head as he ducked. Itachi twisted himself in midair to land gracefully behind him. Smirking, the dark haired man sat back down beside him.

Kisame sighed. "You know, if she ever gets those seals off? You're on your own."

Itachi smirked. "I didn't activate all of them this time. Besides, she hit me. No one hits me."

Kisame rolled his eyes and started skinning one of the rabbits he had caught earlier with another annoyed sigh. Just outside of their camp the gray eyed, red haired demoness sat rocking back and forth. Silently clutching at her throat, clawing viciously at the seal collar with tears running down her face.

The woman shook her head and yanked at her hair. ' _I want to wake up now, I want to go home! Itachi Uchiha, I HATE you._ '

Quietly about half an hour later the pale skinned shark like man walked up and stopped beside the trembling woman. With a sad sigh he rested one of his huge heavy hands on one of her delicate shoulders. Bending down he caught her eyes.

Kisame spoke quietly so his words wouldn't carry. "I'm sorry. Normally he isn't like this. But I think I might know of a way to get him to leave you alone. Or at least deter him."

The demoness looked up at him with determined eyes. "Tell me."

Itachi looked up from the fire as Kisame walked back into camp. But instantly stood up when he noticed the person walking along behind the large man. His little brother looked up at him with amusement dancing in his dark eyes and the edges of his lips turned up into a smirk much like his own when their eyes met. His dark bangs brushed across his pale face as the wind caught the tips.

Demoness-Sasuke pouted at him. "What no love for me big brother? And here I thought you would welcome me back with a kiss!"

The woman stepped up to him pressing herself in his little brothers form flush against his body with a seductive smile. Looking up at him she leaned in and ghosted her lips over his neck before boldly licking along the seam of his lips with a sultry purr. Itachi shoved her backwards before leveling a dark red tinted glare at Kisame then stomped out of their camp into the forest.

Kisame shook his head and sighed "He shouldn't bother you again for a little while anyhow."

The woman grinned at him before sitting down beside him. "Yeah.. Thanks, Sharky!"

Itachi stomped deeper and deeper into the woods absentmindedly. He just needed to walk and figure out how to get around this new and annoying problem the demoness had just presented him with. ' _What a dirty disgusting thing to do... You know what? It doesn't matter little girl! You WILL be mine before morning. You know what? I don't even care! You can even pretend to be my foolish little brother the whole time if you'd like. I'll still make you scream my name and beg me anyhow! I get what I want, I always do._ ' 

With a smirk he turned around and started his way back the way he had just came from..

**\- A few miles back -**

Naruto had had just about enough. It was one thing for Sasuke to paw at him. But entirely another to actually climb on top of him while he was asleep and openly try to molest him! And in front of all of their friends even! Had he absolutely no shame at all?

Neji sat in the tree at his guard post staring on in shock at the sudden unexpected movement below him. And watched as Naruto physically tossed the raven haired man violently off of him and away. Kiba sat up from his spot beside the blond with a snarling growl and blanched as their red eyed team mate landed on top of him painfully.. Akamaru gave a startled yelp of his own and then jumped up snapping and growling at the Uchiha. Sasuke calmly stood up and sneered down at Kiba before quickly turning and stomping off into the woods to sulk.

Kiba looked at the retreating Uchiha's back, up to Neji, then back at Naruto curled in his sleeping roll completely in confusion. "Umm... What the fuck was that all about?"

Naruto merely buried himself deeper inside of his sleeping bag head and all. Neji looked away tiredly with a sigh. "Nothing Kiba, don't worry about it. Go back to sleep."

Sasuke stomped his way along a deer path deep into the forest seething all the way. ' _I won't give up! He WILL say that he wants me and he WILL give in or at least submit to me before morning damn it!_ ' He kicked a rock viciously into a near by stream before sitting down on another with an angry huff to think of a plan.

 

Neji poked at Kiba to wake him a few hours later for his shift before making his way over to the blond. He could tell that his friend was still wide awake from his fidgeting beneath the sleeping bag.

He grunted before flopping down beside the blond and addressing him. "Why is he acting like that towards you lately Naruto?"

A loud sigh was the answer before the sleeping bag was pushed down to reveal wide azure eyes and a horrified pout. "Honestly? I have no freaking clue! I wish that he'd go back to just being a bastard, instead of a creepy touchy perverse one."

Neji tugged at the ends of his hair while he thought. After five minutes of silence he decided to share a random thought. "You know.. Maybe you should just make yourself look like the very last person in the whole world that he'd ever want to touch that way willingly?"

Naruto sat up looking interested yet confused. "Huh?"

Neji shrugged then elaborated for the blond. "You know, pretend to be the absolute last person on the entire earth that he'd want to molest."

Naruto's eyes widened before his face stretched into a maniacal grin. "Oh! Neji, that's brilliant!"

The Hyuuga smirked before replying. "Of course it is Uzamaki. It was my suggestion after all."

Standing up, Naruto blasted through the hand seals he needed. And with a poof it seemed as though the older Uchiha brother was standing there amongst them.

Kiba grunted rubbing sleep from his eyes. "So that's what the psycho looks like eh?"

A nod and cold look was his only answer. Neji chuckled, the edges of his lips curling upwards. "You're pretty good at that." Naruto-Itachi smirked before answering in a mocking blank faced monotone. "All I have to do is act like you to pull it off Hyuuga-san." Neji glared in annoyance, while Kiba howled with knee slapping laughter from the tree branch above them. The three waited quietly after that for their team mate to return. Curious to see what the reaction that their "prank" would garner.

 

When he returned the last person that Sasuke Uchiha expected to see when he walked back into their temporary camp, was his brother sitting blank faced beside Kiba Inuzuka calmly eating cup ramen. While Neji Hyuuga poked at the fire with a stick in boredom. With a growl he stomped his way over and grabbed the jutsu using blond up from where he sat while shaking him viciously.

Sasuke actually snarled in the disguised blonds face. "Why exactly are you pretending to be HIM of all people!"

Naruto-Itachi calmly leaned forward with a cold leer and pulled the other young man tightly against his chest before wrapping his arms around the others lean waist. Then he mockingly mimicked the older Uchiha brothers voice perfectly for the finishing touch. "Foolish little brother. Shouldn't you be giving me a welcoming kiss? I know how very, VERY much that you've really missed me after all."

Sasuke sputtered in wide eyed rage hissing. "Y-You Bastard!" He violently shoved away from Naruto-Itachi in disgust and with a final sneer turned to stomp right back off into the woods yet again.

 

Kiba whistled as Akamaru whined. "Holy fuck! Did you see the look on his face?! I thought his head was going to freaking explode!"

With a sigh Naruto dropped the jutsu, smiling at the silent pale eyed man sitting beside him in thanks. Neji shrugged and looked towards where the other dark haired young man had vanished back into the forest. He frowned then shrugged his shoulders. "It'll give him something to think about. Maybe if you are lucky it will give him an associative complex? Regardless, he shouldn't bother you again for awhile anyhow."

 

Sasuke stomped through the woods in blind rage scowling. ' _That blond idiot! He knew! KNEW! Beyond a shadow of a doubt that, that was by far the dirtiest trick anyone could play upon him. Saying stop was one thing, but pretending to be THAT MAN?_ ' It hurt. It really hurt! And it enraged him that the little blond idiot was willing to go that far, just to deter him.

He grunted to himself before stopping and coming to a decision. ' _It doesn't matter, you damn dobe. You're going to be mine before morning! Go ahead and pretend to be HIM. I won't let even that stop me! You'll see! Because I get what I want, I always do._ '

 

**\- Somewhere in the middle of the woods -**

Sasuke stopped walking as Naruto-Itachi came stomping into the clearing across from the tree line in front of him. Grinning the raven haired man laughed mirthlessly and sauntered up to him. He smirked while eyeing the currently taller "blond" through the fringe of his long dark eyelashes.

Pouting he moved closer, deliberately making his voice husky. "Aw did you miss me so much that you had to come find me again big brother?"

Itachi-Naruto returned to smirk and heated look. His voice lower and smoother when he replied. "Not at all. I think it was you whom sought to find me again, foolish little brother."

Itachi scowled before he dragged the clever she demoness into his arms looking down at her through his own dark lashes. ' _This bitch is colder hearted then I am. And a much better actor._ ' Leaning down close he crushed his lips over the smaller "boys" with a smirk. He licked along the seam of his "brothers" lips before sliding his tongue deep into the others mouth. Suppressing his smirk at the shocked squeak the forward action caused.

Sasuke's mind was a whirlpool of lust and disgust. ' _You absolute dobe! I'll play your filthy game. And I'll win too! Mmm he's actually dominant and a very good kisser.._ '

Itachi ran his hands up and down her back earning him breathy little moans and soft gasps. ' _Oh but she's good very good! Even if she's pretending to be Sasuke it's actually still kind of hot.. This is so sick... I think that I'm beginning to actually like it though.._ '

Sasuke buried one of his hands in the other "mans" hair pulling him down even deeper into the kiss. Gliding his other hand down to the others crotch and rubbing lightly at the hardness he found there with a satisfied smirk. ' _Oh my dobe, I've got to hand it to you. This is by far the sickest most disturbingly disgusting thing that anyone has ever done to me in a long time. But I think I like it.._ '

 

**\- Back at the first camp -**

Naruto "Uh I think that maybe I might have went to far with that guys.. Lets just pack up and go find him. Then head home early.."

Neji picked up his pack shrugging it on. "Fine by me."

Kiba tossed the stick he had been poking into the ground on their banked fire before putting it out. "Alright."

 

**\- With the other two -**

Kisame scratched his head before going back to cleaning his swords pommel. "What exactly IS your name anyhow? Seriously."

The demoness sat up from her slumped position against a nearby tree before sighing. "...Irony"

Kisame couldn't help but snicker. "Well that's ironic, Irony. What say you we go find our wayward partner and get back to demon hunting again?"

Irony frowned but gave an exasperated sigh before rolling up onto her feet and stretching."Yeah sure. Why not?"

 

**\- In the middle of the woods between the two camps -**

Naruto's eyes sparkled and he waved his hands as he spoke and hopped tree tops. "So then I looked over and told her that I really didn't know how Kakashi sensei's book ended up there. And that Sasuke-teme was really starting to try my patience, what with him acting like ero-OH HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"

Kiba, Neji, and Naruto all froze on different tree top limbs and openly gaped at the scene that they had unknowingly jumped out upon.

Kiba turned green, while Akamaru covered his eyes with his paws. "UGH!" "AROOORK!"

Neji went bug eyed before cringing back a step in disgust gagging. "Erp! Oh dear Kami, no! I can not ever unsee that.."

Across the clearing from them, from the other direction Kisame and Irony dropped down from the tree tops too. Irony merely quirked an eyebrow then smirked at the scene. Kisame went bug eyed and turned white as a sheet before starting to dry heave. The demoness cleared her throat before speaking loudly waking the naked, sleeping, snuggled up brothers and gaining their attention rudely.

While she openly leered grinning down at them. "Oui.. Itachi-chan! He's actually cute! Mind if I give him a go now? He's more my type then yours anyhow. Then again maybe he's not!"

Both exhausted brothers slowly peeled their eyes open looking back and forth in confusion before looking at their companions standing over them. Then in absolute horror they turned to look at each other as the truth of events really sank in. 

The woods for miles around were instantly silent..

 

**\- Meanwhile back in Konoha -**

Kakashi was sitting in between Iruka and Sakura on the side of a bridge leading into the village. They sat quietly resting as they watched the sun rise together. They had just returned from a mission and were taking a much needed breather before heading on to the mission hall to turn in their mission report. Kakashi would swear later on that he then heard the most horrified screams that he had ever heard in his entire career as a ninja. Iruka and Sakura had both looked at him in confusion. Both raising a questioning eyebrow.

Iruka "Did you just hear people scream Hatake-san?"

Sakura suddenly went still and bug eyed beside them. "Oh No! It sounded like Sasuke-kun! SASUKE-KUN! I'll SAVE YOU!"

Jumping up the pink haired young woman was gone back into the forest surrounding the village in a blurred pink and red flash. A white blond and purple blur zipped by right after her. 

Chouji and Shikamaru trotted up slowly to the two men sitting on the side on the bridge before stopping in front of the two teachers with put upon sighs.

Chouji "Ino just said something about the Uchiha screaming bloody murder."

Shikamaru rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Considering all the shit that guy's seen.. It kinda makes you wonder just exactly what it would take to get that kind of a sound out of him. Must be some kind of agonizingly painful, cruel torture to say the least.. How.. Troublesome.."

 ---------------------------

Yes, I know, I'm absolutely horrible! XD  
Anyhow I've cleaned it up a bit more from the original draft and fixed most of the typos..


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